Rental of woodland for one weekend.

[William323]

Hello
I do a bit of wedding planning and I have been given an unusual request from a bride to be who is also a friend of mine. She’s a bit of a hippie at heart and would like to hold her wedding disco in a forest to be at one with Mother Nature. What I am looking for is about 2 acres/1 hectare of woodland in the back of beyond; or at least somewhere where we will be far enough away from the neighbours as to not cause any problems.
The set up and party will take about 4-5 days from start to finish. We would be looking to get a TEN (Temporary Event Notice) for the event to ensure that everything is above board and we don’t get an unwelcome visit from the local Council. With all the people, crew, guests, etc., we expect there to be somewhere in the region of 350 people attending.
To give you an idea of the clients’ mentality towards nature…
I was camping with them once and a friend had the temerity to throw the plastic cover of a noodle pot into the fire. After the barracking he got he won’t be doing that in future, at least not in this company.
Obviously this will be done properly. Portable toilets, recycling of rubbish etc. We will remove the leaf litter from the main area and rake it back once the festivities are over.
We are based in London but the bride realises that we may have to travel for this. Please understand this has to be done professionally otherwise a wedding and a friendship will be ruined.
William

[Andy M]

???

[The Barrowers]

Hello Seem more of a request to a farmer with attached woods

Might want to try Michael Eavis down Glastonbury Way?

[oldclaypaws]

Having been approached by someone wanting to hold weddings in my wood and having given the matter careful thought I believe I am qualified to comment.

'Being at one with nature' and having 350 people trampling on it are somewhat incongruous. With that many people every plant will be trampled, every creature will run off across the horizon and there is likely to be months of trauma to the wood.

Where are these 350 people going to park? Assuming they come in 150 odd cars, that will require about 5 acres of parking space. - Bear in mind for vehicles to manoevure, you need as much empty space as room for a car.

Consider as happens at weddings, the safety issues of numerous drunken people in a dark woodland. Roots to trip over, twigs to impale your eyeballs on, logs to fall over, trees to fall out of, branches that can fall on you. Do you propose to have St Johns Ambulance in attendance, they'll be needed?

Most woodland owners value their woods for the wildlife, tranquillity and privacy. If you want a rave, hire an aircraft hanger. Frankly its a non starter and any planner, woodland owner or neighbour would be horrified at the prospect. If they value and respect nature, please leave it undisturbed.

[Dexter's Shed]

also, the owner has to think of the aftermarth, can just imagine the locals objecting to every move you make, after they have had to put up with what sounds like a big gig

[William323]

I never expected replies like the ones I have received. Most shocking was the response from Oldclaypaws who is suggesting there will be mass drunk driving occurring. This is something I consider to be a very serious offence and would never allow to happen. I thought as a society we had progressed from this attitude, however, clearly this is de rigueur in certain mentalities. Perhaps a close look at your morals in this regard is needed. As with any wedding party I would expect almost everyone other than the crew to arrive by some form of public transport/taxi combination. To answer your question with regards to St. John's ambulance. In an outdoor event away from civilisation there would of course be both a qualified first aider and security, this would be a requirement of the TEN (see above). You should not judge everyone by your standards and those of your ilk, not everyone who attends weddings gets that slaughtered they are unable to walk, talk or function. Knowing many of the guests I find these comments highly offensive. While I understand you are not interested in renting some woodland I would request that you don't troll my post nor defame good people you have never met.
In regard to Dexter's Shed:
The whole point is to find somewhere well away from where people would have cause to complain, and obtain a TEN in advance. Please read the post carefully as this was clearly pointed out.
The original post was for someone who would like to make a couple of grand to rent their woodland out for a long weekend. If this applies to you then please feel free to respond. If it does not then please feel free to decline or not comment. There is no need to troll this post or defame people you have never met.

[oldclaypaws]

There is a distinct difference between 'trolling' and stating the likely real logistical and environmental concerns you would face, from a position of some direct experience as a woodland owner who has previously been asked to do exactly what you are looking for- and declining after careful consideration and much thought due to the impact on the wildlife, flora and neighbours. The only difference between what I declined and what you want to do is that the planners who approached me were talking about 100 guests. 350 is what we round here would refer to as 'a small village.'

I never stated anything about drink driving at all, that is your invention. As someone who has attended many weddings I have yet to see one where a minority of the guests had not liberally imbibed, but that does not imply they will drive, but they will be wandering around and larking about less carefully than someone who is sober. Woodlands are dangerous places, there are many hazards. Combine strangers stopping overnight, the dark, roots, slippy surfaces and 101 other hazards and there are bound to be numerous minor bruises and sprains. Theres also hazards such as ticks and harvest mites which carry infection.

Woods are not ideal for huge functions, and huge functions are not good for woods or the wildlife in them. I speak as one of the people on this forum who owns a wood, is aware of the hazards and wildlife and spends 30 hours a week in a wood.

If anyone else on the forum thinks it's a great idea and is happy to have you in their wood, they are welcome to chip in. What you are talking about though is a huge function over several days. Far from being at one with nature, you will be flattening it and causing it significant disturbance. But you don't own a wood, know them intimately or realise how precious they are, so you are likely to be unaware of how typical woodland owners such as myself are likely to feel about your proposal.

Far from trolling, I am giving it to you straight as a woodland owner and the majority will feel the same. Part of the motivation for many who own woods is peace and quiet, a place to ourselves and bonding with nature, not making a quick buck at the cost of considerable disturbance, that is precisely what we are trying to get away from. If you don't like that, well that's just the way it is.

[Patandsam]

For once I think this is a subject we can comment on with some expertise. Our Hotel does a large chunk of its business hosting wedding celebrations and we are looking forward to the new trade from the gay community when the legislation goes through. That will be great fun. We have up to 200 guests on occasions and often have marquees up outside in the grounds so we know exactly what it involves. We expressly ask guests to keep away from areas that are unlit or dangerous. Not that it works, Whatever the rules we hardly have a wedding goes by without someone jumping off the jetty into the lake. We did have a very unpleasant incident when one guest impaled themselves on a broken rhododendron and it caused us much distress at the time and quite a insurance headache afterwards.
We now as part of our disclaimer take no responsibility for anything that happens away from the lit and indoor areas. Guests are asked not to go in the lake or the woods, but they do, and then trail mud and water through the Hotel. We would never allow hundreds of people in the wood, we have about 30 acres. Speaking from experience it would be far too dangerous. While claypaws was rather blunt I think he reflected what we would think about it. We will be pleased to discuss if we have a vacancy and can accomodate your function but are now taking bookings for 2016, other than a few slots later this year kept free for L & G functions.

[Dexter's Shed]

I'll second what paws has just said, I left a smaller reply at first because I didn't think you would want to hear OUR THOUGHTS, but as you seem to think we are trolls, so be it, we are not, we are members on the swog open forum, thus you will get good and bad replies, I can remember a post a year or so ago from someone that wanted to run paint ball meets in a rented wood, and his quotes on how it wouldn't affect the woods in anyway, funny that he left never to return

ok, you did ask for a wood that is away from civilisation, but you'd still need to get there wouldn't you????
my wood is indeed just that, but alas, there's no bus stops right outside, and as far as Im aware, Ive never seen a mini cab firm that uses a fleet of defenders, as your normal mini cab would be stuck within minutes
but lets just say you organise that too, you would still need to get 350 people down a road leading to said woods, as most roads go somewhere, most people living along said roads, know it only leads to one place, your saying that these home-owners living in the back end of beyond, in areas that have no street lights etc lighting up the night sky, are not going to notice that "glow in the woods" or that constant drone, light and noise do carry a fair distance you know.

we have camping nights, I think the last one saw 10 of us, and we had enough rubbish the next day to fill our land rover, so lets times that by 35, where will you dump the rubbish?
would you take it home like we do, to recycle in your home bins, yeah Im sure you'll want the expense of that

10 people in ours woods were enough, its hard to keep an eye on that amount, we found we had to keep a constant eye on the non "woody" types, as they thought it was ok to break or chop anything down to chuck on the fire, Im sure none of your 350 guests would be like that,

I'll admit, in the past I had thought about holding weddings at our woods, scenes from robin hood prince of thieves crossed my mind, releasing white doves and everyone dressed with holly and berries etc, but in my mind it was for 30 people max, never did I envisage 350 plus standing there, so if anything your post has made me rid my brain of thoughts like this, I doubt if anyone would want a couple of thousand as you put it, to destroy their woods

[Patandsam]

I dont want to put people off our Hotel but one of the things that really worries us about the woods are the adders. Our groundsman was bitten in 2009 in May when he was clearing up leaves. If anyone ever told you adders arent dangerous you should have seen the swelling. Because it was early in the year it was really venomous and he was in agony. We got him to the cottage hospital really quickly and they had antivenom, but it was really scary. We know they are there and ask guests not to disturb them, even when the snakes are sunbathing on the tennis court and preventing play. Cant imagine what it would be like if someone got bitten in the middle of nowhere, it would ruin the whole occasion or worse.