Unbelievable

[Alex]

Put some old oil and grease over the gate.
Conceal some puncture causing spike strips under the gate.
Get an electric fence battery, and hide some wires around were you stack the logs, set it to high.
Build a deep large pit, cover with twigs and leaves. Pop to local zoo and kidnap lion, put lion inside pit and conceal once more.

Don't involve the police, they'd rather hide behind speed limit signs, with a speed camera and catch those that are breaking the speed limit marginally.

[joe public]

Hi Matt

I cannot read the second to last line on your sign.

On the council woods where i am it states in massive letters that you cannot remove deadwood from the wood. And that you cannot cut down living trees. It then explains why not, ie being bad for the wood/wildlife. It is in very simple english.

I can get you the wording if you like.

[Compo]

My friend has 25 acres of neglected plantation, Oak, Sycamore and Birch in the main. He has a felling licence for a 30 percent thin to bring the woodland back in to some kind of order and as a condition of his licence he is to reinstate the rides that originally formed part of the plot before its management was abandoned 70+ years ago. So you can imagine that we have produced a serious amount of timber. We stacked the trunks in four foots by the edges of the cleared roadways - and it disappeared as fast as we could cut it. The police were not interested, nobody saw anything and noone took the theft seriously. We took to patrolling at irregular times and wasted a lot of diesel to no effect. He has resorted to a double gateway with a security barrier. Any timber close to the fence disappears overnight and rubbish moves in the opposite direction. He was looking to sell logs from the gate, even considered employing someone to market them for him. But it looks like the locals like their firewood free!